| Introduction If 1 Corinthians 7 were the only passage in the Bible that taught us concerning marriage, we would likely have a different idea about it than we do. Our concept of marriage would likely be akin to the Roman Catholic notion that singleness is more virtuous than marriage, that marriage is second-class institution for those who are not holy enough. Thankfully we have a wealth of information concerning marriage in the Bible, which helps us have a complete picture of what marriage is and how we should think about it and practice it. A different problem, however, has developed in the church. While the world exalts singleness, the church has relegated singles to a second-class status. So, I think it is appropriate to insert here, between instructions to the husband and wife and the children, instructions to the church concerning singles. A single is person who is old enough to be married, but is not married. In our culture, we would say that a single generally is someone who has finished high school. This includes young and old. So what I say concerning singles apply to one who is young and never married, to the one who is old and never married, to the widow/widower, to the divorced person. I. Paul Prefers Singleness A. He wishes all people were single, 6. B. He counsels widows to remain single if possible, 8. C. Singleness is preferred because of "the present distress," 26. D. Those who aren't married are advised not to "seek a wife," 28. E. Married people are "concerned about the things of the world," but the unmarried are "concerned about the things of the Lord," 32-34. F. So the single person can concentrate on pleasing the Lord, 32. II. This Is not All of Paul's Theology of Marriage or Singleness A. Paul likely responds to Corinthian questions, and he isn't giving his entire theology of marriage in this chapter. B. In any case, to construct a proper theology of marriage, we must read the entire Bible, and especially the foundational text in Genesis 2:18–25. Gen. 2:18-25 – And the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that wasits name. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. 1. I think it is fair to discern from the Genesis account that it is God's intention for most men and women to be married. 2. Paul himself recognizes that one must follow one's gift with respect to marriage and singleness, 7. 3. When we consider Genesis 2 and the fact that a whole book of the Bible is devoted to marriage (The Song of Solomon), it is fair to conclude that most people aren't gifted to be single. 4. The context of the whole Bible helps us to interpret 1 Corinthians 7. III. Some Implications of What Paul Teaches in 1 Corinthians 7. A. Let's not assume that everyone should get married or encourage everyone to get married. 1. We need to reclaim the beauty of singleness as it is taught in the Scriptures. 2. Devoting one's life to the Lord as a single person is something God commends, but we often view it as a second-class life. 3. Yes, God intends most people to get married, but it doesn't follow that singleness is second-class. 4. Indeed, Paul himself prefers singleness since one can devote oneself to ministry and to the Lord without distraction. B. How can one tell if one should live a single life? 1. If you have a strong desire to get married or strong sexual desires, then you should pursue marriage, 9. 2. Paul isn't saying to people who have a longing to be married that they must quench their desires and force themselves to be single. 3. I think his advice is: don't think you must or have to be married. 4. If you can live happily as a single person, pursue such a life and honor the Lord with your time. C. What does all this have to say to a person who longs to be married and desires marriage but remains single? 1. More and more people in our culture today find themselves in this situation. 2. When the longings of our hearts aren't realized, we are experiencing what the Bible calls "trials" or "afflictions" (), though we must remember that married people face trials and afflictions as well. Rom. 5:3–5 – And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. 3. Longing for marriage is an affliction and a trial, and it is probably one of the hardest afflictions a person faces. a. God doesn't promise that the difficulties in our lives will vanish, and he doesn't guarantee the desire to be married will be fulfilled. b. But he does promise he will be with us as we go through the fire and the flood (Isa. 43:2). c. He calls upon us to trust him and to give ourselves to him, knowing that he loves us and that he knows best for our lives. d. In everything, he is working to make us more like his Son, Jesus Christ. Rom. 8:28–29 – And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. D. Singles need to understand that they have an opportunity to advance the gospel in ways and places that would be far more difficult for married couples and families. 1. It's not that singles need either to marry or to endure massive physical hardship for the sake of the gospel. 2. But they can look at their singleness strategically from the standpoint of the gospel's advancement. a. Time that married people might spend nursing a sick child back to health, helping a teenage daughter with a job application, or repairing the two clunkers in the driveway, an unmarried person might be able to spend visiting the sick in the hospital or following up a conversation about the gospel with a co-worker with a meeting at a coffee shop. b. And yes, a single person might end up flying a helicopter in West Africa that occasionally takes gunfire. E. Being single in the church should never mean being lonely in the church. 1. Paul surrounded himself with co-workers in the gospel's advancement, both men (Phil. 2:22) and women (Phil. 4:2–3), and these close friends worked with him to make his ministry possible. 2. Because singleness is good in itself, that certainly shouldn't be the unstated goal of getting singles together. IV. 9 Things Regarding Contentment and Singleness. A. Contentment is demanded of all Christians, not just single Christians. 1. It's vital to remember that single Christians aren't some special class of humans who really need to work on contentment – we all do. 2. Discontentment, after all, isn't a feature of single hearts. a. It's a feature of human hearts. b. Discontentment is "common to man" (1 Cor. 10:13), polluting every life stage since Adam and Eve weren't content to trust the word of God over the whisper of Satan (Gen. 3:1–7). 3. If we are honest, discontentment can feel rather small compared to other sins. b. It's serious, because it tells a lie about God: that he is insufficient to meet our needs. c. Single or married, no one has to be taught discontentment. 1) We all have PhDs in the subject already. 2) Even Paul's discovery of the "secret of contentment" didn't come naturally; he had to learn it (Phil. 4:11). 3) He enrolled in the school of contentment, and so must we. 4. So, God is teaching all of us, not just singles, in the school of contentment by changing us, not necessarily our circumstances. B. Contentment doesn't mean you can't desire or pursue marriage. 1. The human heart can both long for marriage and long for God's will—even if that will doesn't include marriage. 2. Jesus himself experienced an unfulfilled longing while bowing to his Father's plan (Matt. 26:39). 3. In fact, it is a mark of spiritual maturity for a believer to bring their longing for marriage to heaven's throne, pouring out their heart before the God who hears and cares. 4. Resignation is a feature of Stoicism, not Christianity. C. As a single, you are not a human-in-waiting. 1. Being single isn't an obstacle to being fully human; it's an expression of it. a. A woman's life, for example, doesn't "really" begin when she becomes a wife or a mom, but when she becomes a royal image-bearer of God. b. A marital status is not their defining characteristic. 2. Many well-meaning people have a tendency, I think, to make singleness either everything or nothing. a. We must affirm both the discontented single's desire while at the same time not act like it is the only thing going on in their life. b. It is not the only thing is a person's life. 3. No observation bears greater significance than that history's most complete person never had sex and never got married – if singleness is deficient, then so was Jesus Christ. D. As a single person, you can uniquely picture the gospel. 1. The Bible is clear that marriage is a gospel mirror, reflecting the union between Jesus and his bride, the church, Eph. 5:32. 2. But does this mean the single Christian fails to mirror the gospel? b. Godly singleness reflects the church in this age as we wait, with expectant hope, for our Savior's return. c. In fact, I think single people can enjoy a special kind of solidarity with Jesus that married people cannot. d. He is, after all, awaiting his wedding day (Rev. 19:6–10). E. Your singleness is a gift and a calling. 1. We live in an erotic age in which human beings are routinely reduced to their sexuality. 2. The insistence, then, that chastity is a gift to embrace and not a cross to bear is as countercultural as it is biblical. 3. Paul could not have been clearer that singleness is a good gift from God, 7-8, 38. a. Singleness isn't the kind of gift you unwrap and put on the mantle; it's the kind you put to use. b. And the gift isn't addressed to the single person only, but to their entire community. c. Everyone benefits from the life of an unmarried person who has embraced this calling—this deployment—from the King himself. d. Single Christians aren't in a holding pattern, awaiting their job responsibilities in God's kingdom. F. It is likely you are strategically positioned for gospel good. 1. The world champions the single life because of all you can do for yourself – the Bible champions the single life because of all you can do for others. 2. Where does the beauty of singleness shine brightest? a. Not in exotic trips or Netflix binges or waking up on Saturday at the crack of noon, though those things can be nice. b. Singleness shines brightest in the ability to serve, to rise to the occasion, to drop everything at a moment's notice and go help a family whose kid just died. 1) So be encouraged to embrace their relative freedom and flexibility as the strategic deployment it is. 2) This doesn't just have implications for their ministry, but for their friendships, too. "For those of us who remain single, we might not experience the unique depth of intimacy with one person that a married friend might, but we can enjoy a unique breadth of intimacy with a number of close friends that comes from having greater opportunity and capacity than married people typically have to invest in close friendships." Sam Allberry G. God is with and for you now. 1. One of the best ways you can love someone desiring marriage is to help them see that God is always sovereign and wise and good to his children—and he's not about to stop with them. a. He knows what's best for you (wise), he wants what's best for you (good), and he will bring about what's best for you (sovereign). b. Charles Spurgeon put it beautifully: "Remember this: Had any other condition been better for you than the one in which you are, divine love would have put you there." 1) This is not a flippant or flimsy platitude. 2) It is rock-solid truth on which the Christian stands. "Accepting singleness, whether temporary or permanent, does not hinge on speculation about answers God has not given to our list of whys, but rather on celebration of the life he has given. I am not single because I am too spiritually unstable to possibly deserve a husband, nor because I am too spiritually mature to possibly need one. I am single because God is so abundantly good to me, because this is his best for me. It is a cosmic impossibility that anything could be better for me right now than being single. The psalmists confirm that I should not want, I shall not want, because no good thing will God withhold from me." Paige Brown in Singled Out for Good H. You are part of the ultimate family already. 1. Late-modern Western culture conflates sex and intimacy, but Scripture does not. 2. God's people, gathered in kingdom outposts called local churches, are meant to be the most intimate communities on earth. 3. For a man or woman in Christ, nothing ultimate about them is single. 1) They are a child in the Father's house (1 Tim. 3:15), a member of the Son's body (1 Cor. 12:12–27), a stone in the Spirit's temple (Eph. 2:21–22). 2) And, unlike their marital status, these realities will endure forever. I. Jesus is really enough. 1. The local church is indispensible to the Christian life, and the ultimate reason is because of its all-sufficient cornerstone and head, Jesus Christ. 2. If Jesus isn't sufficient for you when you are single, he won't be sufficient for you when you are married. 3. You already have access to the deepest and most meaningful love relationship there is. a. If you get married, that's great, but it will only add a dollar of approval and love to the billion-dollar net worth they already possess. b. Again, contentment in singleness doesn't show up as a muted desire for marriage. c. The most beautiful thing, in fact, is when single Christians acknowledge their longing for a spouse—and yet testify to the sufficiency of Jesus in the midst of the struggle. 1) The world has a category for a single who acts like marriage isn't a big deal. 2) But what it doesn't have a category for—what the world can neither understand nor explain—is a single who longs for marriage while declaring, "His grace is sufficient for me" (2 Cor. 12:9).
Far from being a second-class calling, godly singleness is a vital stewardship entrusted to many of our brothers and sisters—some for a season, others for life.
http://olympiabp.blogspot.com/2017/04/a-gift-from-god-1-cor-7.html
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