| Introduction In today's society, there may not be a bigger cuss word than submission when it comes to marriage. The idea that anyone should submit to someone else seems to be un-American since this is the land of the free. Yet, every relationship is based some level of submission. Eph. 5:17-21 – Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God. God has established roles in marriage that includes the role of the wife as the submitting partner. I. The Family as a Display of Christian Virtue A. This section, though it has a seemingly abrupt beginning, is a continuation of the put ons of 12-17. 1. The family, more than any other context, will be the place where all the Christian virtues of 12-17 will be displayed. 2. Yet, in practice, we often work harder at making a good impression on everyone outside of the immediate family while not displaying kindness, compassion, etc. in the family. 3. 3:18-4:1 could be considered as the specific application of v. 17. B. The household is the basic unit of society and the church. 1. The household is made of all who are represented by its head. 2. In the NT, the household would include any slaves owned by the head of the household. 3. Today, the household would be equivalent to the family and anyone who lives with and depends on the family. 4. In the Bible, more than the individual, the household/family is the unit on which everything is built. a. The family may consist of one person or many people. b. And the family is under attack from the world and Satan because they know that if they destroy the family they will have won. C. The original language of verse 18 simply says "The women, submit yourself to the men as it is fitting in the Lord." 1. Greek has no specific words for husband or wife. 2. It simply uses the words for man and woman. a. We know that Paul is referring to husbands/wives rather than generally men/women because the context tells us that he is addressing the several familial/household relationships in the church. b. This is also consistent with the use of the article: the women and the men imply a specific group of men and women. II. The Wife as Submitting Partner A. There has been a lot said and written trying to explain away this idea of submission because it is not culturally acceptable. 1. Paul did not write Colossians, Ephesians, and Titus, and Peter did not write 1 Peter – nobody of consequence holds to this. 2. Paul was just conforming to the culture of the time – if he lived now he would not have said that. a. The problem is that Paul doesn't seem to be too concerned with the culture of the time when he challenges other issues. 2) Sexual immorality in general 4) Role of women in religious service b. On top of that, Paul also says that the structure of the family is based on how God created man and woman, which transcends any cultural norm. 1 Cor. 11:8-10a – For man is not from woman, but woman from man. Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man. For this reason the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on herhead…. 3. The word submission means something other than submission. a. This is an effort to preserve the integrity of the Scriptures but lessen the impact of saying that the wife should submit to her husband. Col. 3:18 (Message) – Wives, understand and support your husbands by submitting to them in ways that honor the Master. b. A problem with that approach is that the way that the word submission (u`potassw) is used throughout the NT does not support this idea and includes the idea of obedience. Lk. 2:51 – Then He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them, but His mother kept all these things in her heart. Rom. 13:1, 5 – Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God…. Therefore you must be subject, not only because of wrath but also for conscience' sake. Titus 2:9 – Exhort bondservants to be obedient to their own masters, to be well pleasing in all things,not answering back…. Jam. 4:7 – Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. c. The word itself is made up of two words: underand arrange. B. The command to submit means that the wife will differ to her husband in all things. 1. With every rule, there will be exceptions. a. But before we consider the exceptions, let the weigh of this truth sink into our hearts – wives are called by God to follow their husbands in all things. b. It is not suggestion given by the apostle and it is not just a matter of wisdom – it is a command given by the Lord God Almighty. c. And the reason that I want us not to think about exceptions is that our tendency is to immediately lawyer up. 1) We immediately start thinking in what ways a command from the Lord doesn't apply to us. 2) Not just women on this subject, but all of us tend to do that in every subject. 3) But instead of thinking about how we don't have to obey, we should, rather, start thinking about how we will obey the commands of the Lord. Ps. 119:86a – All Your commandments are faithful (are sure)…. Ps. 19:7a, 8 – The law of the Lord is perfect, converting (restoring) the soul…. The statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes…. 2. In Ephesians, the Holy Spirit uses the imagery of head and body. a. The husband is the head and the wife is the body. Eph. 5:22-23 – Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. b. The body follows and obeys the commands of the head. 1) Following the analogy, when the body does not respond to what the head is telling it to do, we see that as abnormal, illness, something that is not right. 2) When a person has Parkinson's Disease and the body stops listening to the head and starts doing its own thing, we don't look at it as something to be desired or to be proud of. 3) That is the image that Paul is drawing for us when he compares the husband to the head and the wife to the body – for the relationship to work properly, glorify God, and bless all involved the head must function as head and the body as body. 3. Implied in the command for the wife to submit is the command for the husband to lead. a. This is also explicit in the imagery of head and body. b. The truth is that the husband is always leading. 1) He is either leading in a Christ-like way or he is leading in a satanic way. c. In this command for the wives to submit to their husbands, we are taught that the husbands must be willing to make decisions. 1) He cannot just sit there and do nothing. 2) In the same way that Christ actively leads his church, the husband actively leads his wife. 3) More on this next week. C. The manner of submission, that is, how it looks like. 1. This is a willing submission. a. Even though it doesn't show in our translation, the word is written in such a way that means submit yourselves. "Submission… suggests a voluntary willingness to recognize and put oneself under the leadership of another." Douglas Moo b. As a wife, submission should not be something that you are forced to do, but something you do willingly. Eph. 5:22 – Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord…. c. It should not be a begrudging effort. 2. This is a Christian submission. a. That is, it is a submission that shows your faith in Jesus Christ – as is fitting in the Lord. 1) A submissive wife is consistent (fitting) with who Christ is and what he did for her. 2) Therefore, there is no such category as an unsubmissive Christian wife. a) Submissive and Christian go together. "… wives cannot obey Christ without yielding obedience to their husbands." John Calvin b) You can't divorce the two. c) You can't have a Yes but. b. The expression as is fitting in the Lordalso means that the husband is not the ultimate head of the wife, Christ is. 1) Therefore, the husband has no right to tell the wife to believe or act contrary to what Christ says. 2) Examples of things that the husband cannot ask the wife to do and the wife would actually be failing to submit to Christ if she obeyed her husband (not exhaustive). a) Worshiping a false god. d) Murder – this includes physical abuse toward her or her children by the husband. 3) Here again I want to plead with you not to lawyer up and try to make all your desires not to submit fit under this exception. 3. It is a specific submission. Eph. 5:22 – Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord…. a. A wife is to be submissive to her husband, not to every man. b. She does not owe any special submission to other men just because she is a woman. 1) She is to be submissive to the civil authorities just like any man is. 2) She is to be submissive to the ecclesiastical authorities just like any man is. 4. It is a respectful submission Eph. 5:33 – Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. a. She doesn't gossip about her husband. b. She doesn't portray him in a dark light unnecessarily. D. The biggest impediment to submission is the consequence of the fall. Gen. 3:16 – To the woman He said: "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you shall bring forth children; your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." 1. The expression your desire shall be for your husband doesn't mean that as the result of the fall the woman will desire her husband more. 2. It actually means that her desire will be for the role of her husband. a. She will not be satisfied with what God designed her for. b. She will want to take over his position. c. That is the natural tendency of the sinful heart. 1) A deadbeat husband makes it difficult to submit. 2) A sinful husband makes it difficult to submit. 3) But ultimately the biggest enemy of submission is her own sinful heart. III. The Dignity of Women – the wife's submission to her husband is not an expression of inferiority. A. The most profound example of submission is the Lord Jesus himself. 1. Jesus came into the world in submission to the Father, but at no time was he inferior to the Father. 2. The voluntary submission of our Savior to his Father was designed for a specific purpose, but at no time was he in a position of inferiority. B. The wife's submission to her husband says nothing concerning her essence, only concerning her function, 3:11. 1 Pt. 3:7 – Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife… as beingheirs together of the grace of life…. 1. With regard to our standing in Christ, there is no difference. 2. All are equal partakers in the benefits and standing secured by the work of Christ, but marriage is a partnership in which we are called to different roles. 3. In other words man by virtue of being man is not better than woman and vice-versa. a. This teaching on submission has often been used to put women down. b. But we must teach it rightly because it is good and a blessing to woman and men. c. Alongside with the goodness of submission we also must affirm the dignity of being a woman. 1) The Bible has a high view of both man and woman. Gen. 1:27 – So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 2) As matter of fact, the Bible speaks of man being generally incomplete without the woman. Gen. 2:18 – And the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." 3) Jesus himself went out of his way to elevate women – the Samaritan woman.
Our God, who only gives us what is good, has design marriage so that the husband and the wife have each unique roles/functions. The function of the wife is of submitting partner who follows her husband as the body follows the head. And all the grace that you need to obey the Lord in this area has already been secured in the cross and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It is not like Jesus has to die again for you to be able to submit to your husband. He gives you the grace as you believe in him and you take that grace and follow him.
http://olympiabp.blogspot.com/2017/03/submission-modern-dirty-word-col-318.html
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