Introduction
Today we will endeavor to cover chapters 18-20. These chapters cover at least a couple of years and establish how Saul and David will relate to each other for the rest of Saul's life. They also contain the final attempts on Jonathan's part to try to keep David as part of the court.
There are three main players in these chapters: Saul, Jonathan, and David. Two weeks ago we learned from the beautiful relationship between Jonathan and David. We saw that the reason they were able to have such fulfilling and God-glorifying friendship was that they found their identity in the Lord, not in each other.
Today we will consider Saul, who really is the anti-David and anti-Jonathan. Saul is going through a severe identity crisis. Instead of finding his identity, his worth, in the Lord, he was looking for it in his status as king, in what people thought of him, and in the future of his kingdom.
I. Saul's Attitude toward David Quickly Escalated from Love to Hatred.
A. Chapter 18 begins with everybody loving David, including Saul, 2, 5.
1. After David defeated Goliath, Saul welcomed him into his home and family.
2. He made David part of his inner circle and treated him like a son.
B. Soon Saul perceivesa slight against him and immediately starts fearing what David might do to his identity, 18:6-9.
II. The Key to Understand Saul's and David's Relationship, 18:12
A. The Lord was with David but not with Saul, and because of that, Saul feared David (also in 18:15, 28-29).
1. Saul was not afraid that David was going to physically beat him up.
2. He wasn't afraid because David was really ugly or looked like a spider.
3. Saul was afraid that David was going to get all the glory and he would get none.
a. He was afraid that people would disapprove of him and approve of David.
b. Saul wanted all to himself, 18:6-9.
1) Notice that the women were singing his praises as well.
2) Notice that there is no slight in what the women were singing – they don't say Saul this, but David that.
3) Yet, Saul cannot live with the idea that someone somewhere is getting some acknowledgment that, in his opinion, should go to him.
4) For him, it was not good enough to share in the success the Lord had given them – he wanted it all.
B. This attitude drives people away.
1. Every situation and every relationship becomes a competition for glory.
2. Relationships that are based on keeping tabs on everything, on being tit-for-tat, don't really flourish and are not at all fulfilling.
3. They actually suck the life out of those involved.
4. Saul's attitude pushed even his children away from him – both his son and daughter thought it would be better to lie to him than deal with his attitude, 19:17-18; 20:27-29.
C. This attitude will lead us to want to get rid of people rather than love, bless, and serve them.
1. That's what Saul made his life about, 18:9.
2. Saul tried to get rid of David (kill him) at least 9 times in these chapters.
a. Three times with a spear, 18:10-11; 19:9-10.
1) Notice that even though he was under the influence of a spirit, he was still accountable for his actions.
2) Prophesying means being in an ecstatic state – kind of speaking gibberish.
b. By sending him to the frontline, 18:13 (something that David will use later and sadly more successfully).
c. Twice with his daughters, 18:17-25.
d. Once through some other plot, 19:1-3.
e. Once at David's house, 19:11-17.
f. Once at the New Moon festival, 20:1-3, 42.
g. We could argue that Saul sent the men in chpt. 19 to kill David, but the passage doesn't specify the purpose of the visit, so we will leave it alone.
D. Ironically, Saul accuses Jonathan of being the son of a perverse and rebellious woman when he actually is the son of a perverse and rebellious father, 20:30.
E. Consequence of Saul's attitude, 19:24: "At the end chapter 19, King Saul is a pathetic figure of fun, lying naked on the floor." Tim Chester
III. Do You Recognize Anything of Saul in Yourself?
A. People with Saul's attitude tend to make every little thing a big deal and really take things out of proportion, 18:8 ("what more can he have but the kingdom").
1. They will also use the Lord instead of worshiping him, 18:17 – "Go fight the battle of the Lord so that you can be killed and my will can be done."
2. The Lord is just a means to achieve their own ends.
B. The Bible also calls this identity crisis the fear of man.
Pro. 29:25 – The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.
1. Fearing man is essentially finding one's identity and worth in other people or in circumstances.
2. That's exactly what Saul is doing because he no longer has the Spirit of the Lord, 18:12.
C. Ultimately, finding identity on someone or something other than God is idolatry and that's exactly what Saul is doing.
D. 10 characteristics of a people-pleaser (idolater) – from Lou Priolo's Pleasing People: How Not to Be an Approval Junkie.
1. He fears the displeasure of man more than the displeasure of God.
a. Not only does the people-pleaser love the wrong thing (the approval of man rather than the approval of God), he fears the wrong thing as well – he fears the disapproval of man more than the disapproval of God.
b. When a people-pleaser interacts with others, his thoughts immediately and instinctively run in the direction of selfishness, anxiety, and fear.
1) "I'm not prepared to meet this person."
2) "What does he think of me?"
3) "I'll probably make a fool of myself."
4) "I can't reveal too much of myself or he will know what I'm really like and reject me."
5) "I can't bear the thought of being hurt again."
6) "I have to get away from this person as quickly as possible."
7) "I have to be careful not to say anything that might get me into a conflict."
c. A people-pleaser is not a peacemaker, but rather a peace-lover.
1) A peacemaker is willing to endure the discomfort of a conflict in the hope of bringing about a peaceful resolution (peace not only is the absence of conflict, but is often the result of it).
2) A peace-lover is so afraid of conflict that he will avoid it at almost all costs.
2. He desires the praise of man above the praise of God.
3. He studies what it takes to please man as much as (if not more than) what it takes to please God.
4. His speech is designed to entice and flatter others into thinking well of him.
5. He shows favoritism depending on what he thinks he can get out of a relationship.
6. He is oversensitive to correction, reproof, and other allusions of dissatisfaction or disapproval on the part of others.
7. He outwardly renders eye service to man rather than inwardly rendering sincere (from the heart) ministry to the Lord.
8. He selfishly uses the wisdom, abilities, and gifts that have been given to him for God's glory and the benefit of others for his own glory and personal benefit.
9. He invests more of his personal resources in establishing his own honor than he does in establishing God's honor.
10. He is discontented with the condition and proportions that God has appointed for him.
E. These characteristics all flow from finding one's identity and worth in someone or something other than God.
1. One of the worst advices that can be given to someone is to encourage him/her to work on love himself/herself.
2. The prevalent pop-psychology view is that we can't love others till we love ourselves rightly, but the Bible says that we can't love others till we love God properly.
Mt. 22:36-40 – "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?" Jesus said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is thefirst and great commandment. And the second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets."
Application & Conclusion: Is This You?
If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, it doesn't have to be you. Christ has freed you from yourself, so that you can find your identity and worth in him.
2 Cor. 5:14-15 – For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again.
Gal. 2:20 – I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.
We are good at making prisons for ourselves, prisons that have the doors wide open because Christ has opened them. Yet, our flesh keeps on convincing us that we can do better than Christ. The reality is that we can't and that we don't have to. We don't have to be like Saul. We don't have to be enslaved to the fear of man because we have been declared to be children of God. There is no greater identity and worth than that.
http://olympiabp.blogspot.com/2016/01/identity-crisis-1-sam-18-20.html
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