Introduction
David has defeated Goliath, Jesse has been exempted from paying taxes for the rest of his life, and Saul wants David fulltime at the royal court (18:2). You would think that things are going to be perfect. Not so. For the rest of 1 Samuel, the narrative is going to revolve around Saul's paranoia concerning David. He is going to spend the rest of his life consumed with jealousy and fear.
One the main things that stirred up Saul's jealousy was that David was loved by all.
I. Loved by All Some of the Time.
A. The soldiers – the army loves David: both the rank and file and the top brass, 18:5.
B. The women.
1. After Goliath was killed and the Philistines routed, as the men of the army returned triumphantly with king Saul at the head, the women met them with singing, 6-7.
2. They weren't doing this out of spite for Saul, just joy.
C. All of Israel and Judah, 18:16.
D. Even Saul loved him for a moment, 18:2.
II. Loved by Jonathan All the Time.
A. Immediately after the Philistines were routed, Jonathan's and David's souls were knitted together, 18:1.
1. David essentially becomes part of Saul's family, as well as of his court, 18:2.
2. It is easy to think that David and Jonathan were of similar ages, but they weren't.
a. David was 30 years old when he ascended to the throne.
2 Sam. 5:4 – David was thirty years old when he began to reign, and he reigned forty years.
b. Saul reigned for 40 years.
Acts 13:21 – And afterward they asked for a king; so God gave them Saul the son of Kish, a man of the tribe of Benjamin, for forty years.
c. So David must have been born in the 10th year of Saul's reign.
d. Jonathan was already fighting alongside with Saul during the 3rd year of his father's reign, 1 Sam. 13:1, and an Israelite soldier needed to be at least 20.
Num. 1:3 – … from twenty years old and above—all who are able to go to war in Israel. You and Aaron shall number them by their armies.
e. So in the 10th year of Saul's reign, when David was born, Jonathan was at least 27.
1) Contrary to current belief and practice, rich and meaningful friendships can be developed cross-generationally.
2) We lose something very precious when we segregate our friendships to our own age group.
B. The love between Jonathan and Davis is so strong that some people have suggested it was a homosexual relationship – see 18:1, 3-4; 20:17, 41.
1. Saul seems to accuse Jonathan of that, 20:30.
2. Before we jump into conclusions based on current bias, let's take a look at what the passage says and doesn't say.
a. Homosexuality was clearly forbidden by God's law and the writer of 1-2 Samuel was very aware of the law of God.
Lev. 18:22 – You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination.
Lev. 20:13 – If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them.
b. The writer of 1-2 Samuel was not afraid to highlight David's sin, but he gives no indication of any law-breaking in their relationship.
1) So if this was a homosexual relationship, the writer either was unaware of if or he covered it up.
2) Either of these options seems unlikely because of the detail exposé of David's adultery with Bathsheba in 2 Sam. 11-12.
"The suggestion of homosexuality probably reveals more about the sexualisation [sic] of our culture than it does about their relationship. The reality is that men can have an intimate and affectionate friendship without it becoming sexual…." Tim Chester
C. Why were Jonathan and David were able to be such good friends?
1. If you think about it for a moment, you see that everything about these two men's circumstances screamed rivalry.
a. Saul was really excited about David.
b. Jonathan was royalty and David was a peasant.
c. David had been anointed as the one who was going to get the throne of Israel instead of Jonathan.
2. The reason this friendship worked was because of their identity.
a. Both found their identity in the Lord, not in each other or in the circumstances of their lives.
b. Jonathan humbly and voluntarily acknowledges that David is the rightful heir to the throne, 18:4.
1) David wasn't cold.
2) Jonathan is taking everything that identifies him as the crown-prince and giving it to David.
3) This shows submission to the Lord and Jonathan was able to do that be cause he was satisfied with whom he was in the Lord.
3. This friendship worked because was based on commitment rather than convenience, 18:4; 20:11-16.
a. They covenanted with one another that they would have a God-honoring friendship.
b. What they wanted for each other was the mercy (steadfast love, lovingkindness) of the Lord.
4. This friendship worked because Jonathan recognized who the true king was, recognizing that David was the savior of God's people – and that he was none of those things, 23:17.
a. Jonathan most willingly gave up the throne to David because he knew David was the anointed of the Lord.
b. I hope you don't miss the wonderful irony here.
1) Jonathan gave up everything in this life.
2) Yet, in giving up everything, he gains a future for his house, 20:15-17.
D. Lessons from this friendship.
1. Friendship's common foundation
a. Jonathan saw that he and David viewed life from the same divine perspective.
b. This is the way that deep friendships are: friends with common worldview, not agreeing in everything to be sure, but seeing life as a means to bring glory to God.
c. This is why friendship among Christians can be the most successful and fulfilling.
1) You assent to the same authority.
2) You know the same God.
3) Your life is going the same way.
4) You long for the same things.
2. Friendship's love
a. Because of the wicked culture we live in, we are often afraid to speak in terms of a man loving another man.
b. Yet this is the term the Holy Spirit uses to describe Jonathan's attitude toward David.
c. The most masculine man ever, the ultimate man's man, said the following:
Jn. 15:12-14 – This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.
3. Friendship's commitment
a. The friends showed their commitment to another by way of covenant.
b. Jonathan showed his commitment to David by symbolically giving to David the things that stood for all he had. This is much like what Ruth said to Naomi.
Ruth 1:16-17 – But Ruth said: "Entreat me not to leave you, or to turn back from following after you; for wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. Where you die, I will die, and there will I be buried. The LORD do so to me, and more also, if anything but death parts you and me."
"There is no hooks in such friendships, no desire to manipulate or control, no jealousy or exclusiveness – simply a desire for the best for the others." Kent Hughes
c. Friendship's encouragement, 23:15-18.
1) As soon as David delivered the city of Keilah from the Philistines, he found out that its citizens were planning on turning him over to Saul who was looking for him.
2) So, there goes David back to the desert – that was a discouraging time.
3) But there is a highlight in this: Jonathan comes to strengthen David's hand in God – what a friend!
Pro. 17:17 – A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
4) Notice how Jonathan strengthened David's hand in God.
a) He made a conscious effort.
i. He went to David in Horesh
ii. What a difference it would make in our church, if all of us men woke up this morning and planned to strengthen somebody's hand in God.
b) He strengthened David's hand IN GOD.
i. This is the key difference between Christian friendship and all the other support groups or self-help groups or therapy groups.
ii. The whole point of Christian friendship is to point each other to Christ and not to men.
iii. Do you see the paradox here?
· I need you, you are a means by which I'll endure to the end.
· But the only way you can help me is by doing and saying something that is going to cause me to depend more on God and not you.
c) He reminded David of the promises of God, 23:17.
III. Jonathan is not just, or even primarily teaching us how to be a good friend – he is teaching us to how to be a real follower.
A. Like Jonathan, we are to give up our pretended rights to reign.
B. We are to declare David's descendant Jesus as our Christ, as God's King.
C. We are to bind our future to his, to give up control to him.
D. We are to be like John the Baptist, who accepted his younger cousin Jesus: "He must increase, but I must decrease" (Jn. 3:30).
E. Yet by this very act of self-renunciation, we gain a future under the protection of Jesus.
Mt. 10:39 – He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.
IV. David is a pointer to Jesus, our rightful King.
A. Jonathan graciously acknowledges the power of David.
1. He gives away any claim to authority over his future.
2. He is content to be loyal to David.
3. He entrusts his future to David.
B. Are you content to let Jesus be Lord of your life?
1. Are you bringing every area of your life into submission to him?
2. Are you content to entrust your future to him?
Conclusion
Tim Chester, in his commentary on 1 Samuel says: "Our society is becoming more and more secular, and yet we still love Christmas. Perhaps that is because no one is afraid of 'the baby Jesus'. Jesus in the manger is safe – you don not have to choose to love him or hate him, because he just sits quietly in the corner of your life, as it were, without interfering. But the risen Christ is another matter. The risen Christ is King. And so you must decide whether you will submit to him or not."
http://olympiabp.blogspot.com/2016/01/david-either-love-him-or-hating-him-1.html
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