| Introduction Words matter! They are a window into the heart. There is a very real sense that talk is NOT cheap. Pro. 18:21 – Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. The tongue is a powerful organ. Listen to how James describes its power. Jam. 3:1-6 – My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment. 2 For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body. 3 Indeed, we put bits in horses' mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body. 4 Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. 5 Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. In our passage, Paul returns once more to the sins of the tongue and to the power of words. He continues the pattern he started earlier in the chapter in which he exhorts the church (which means us) to put off the attitudes, thoughts, and behaviors that are characteristics of a person who has not been born again, and put on the attitudes, thoughts, and behaviors that are characteristic of the person who has been regenerated by the Holy Spirit of God. The point Paul is making here, a point that we must get, is that kindness is better than bitterness. I. Starting from the End: Kindness Comes Forgiveness, 32. A. There is a lot of bitter and angry people among us. 1. Our translation says all and then lists a few words that all apply to in v. 31. 2. All is a good enough word, but literally Paul is speaking of every bitterness, etc. a. We are often ok with thinking and speaking of all bitterness, etc. because it is an abstract enough concept, often faceless. b. However, Paul doesn't want us to deal with it in the abstract. c. It is every bitterness that we are to put off, that is, specific bitterness against specific people. d. We have not yet defined what bitterness, but I want to introduce here that bitterness is always against people not situations. B. Let me ask you two why questions that I want you to think about for a couple of seconds. 1. Why do so many of us struggle with bitterness, anger, etc.? 2. Why must all these things be put away? C. The answer to both questions is closely related and almost the same and they both have to do with forgiveness. 1. Why do so many of us struggle with bitterness, anger, etc.? a. The sins of v. 31 come from a heart that either has not known forgiveness or has not let what it means to be forgiven govern what they do. b. Either way, embracing God's forgiveness will go a long way in putting off bitterness, anger, etc. 2. Why must all these things be put away? Because we have been forgiven by God because of Christ, 32b. D. As we think of forgiveness as a motivator for change, let's actually consider what forgiveness is and the magnitude of it. 1. Why is it so wonderful? a. When God forgives a person all his/her sins because of what Jesus has done, he adopts him/her as his child and will forever love him/her b. There is nothing that can separate us from the love of God because of Jesus. 2. What is the magnitude of God's forgiveness? Ps. 103:12 – As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. 2 Cor. 5:21 – For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. Lk. 15:20-24 – And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.' 22 "But the father said to his servants, 'Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. 23 And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; 24 for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' And they began to be merry. Ps. 130:3-4 – If You, Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? 4 But there is forgiveness with You, that You may be feared. Rom. 8:31-35 – What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can beagainst us? 32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? 33 Who shall bring a charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? E. Having been forgiven so much, should we not forgive? Mt. 18:21-34 – Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. 23 Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. 26 The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, 'Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.' 27 Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt. 28 "But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, 'Pay me what you owe!' 29 So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.' 30 And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. 31 So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. 32 Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. 33 Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?' 34 And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. 1. The 100 denarii was a very costly price to pay for the man to let go (forgiveness is always costly). 2. But when compared to what God has done for his people, the cost or our forgiveness is nothing. F. So, a motivator for putting away bitterness and replacing it with kindness is the forgiveness that we have experienced from God. II. Rewinding It to the Beginning: The Things We Are to Put off Because We Have Been Forgiven by God, 31. "You cannot read what Paul has to say without being impressed with the depth and scope of the commands. Perhaps you're thinking as you read, Paul, you've got to be kidding! Completely humble and gentle talk in our home? No way! Communication that is free of all anger and malice? That will be the day! Yet this is what Paul calls us to. And these commands areintended to help us." Paul Tripp commenting on Eph. 4:25-32 A. Notice that the sins Paul lists here are all sins that have the potential to destroy others. B. Put off, get rid of, every bitterness. "Bitterness is the disposition of the person with a tongue sharp as an arrow, keen as a razor. He resents his neighbor, and so he 'needles' him, is ever ready to 'fly off the handle' with a reply that bites or stings." William Hendriksen 1. We all have notions of what bitterness is. 2. It is the carrying with us of wrongs committed against us that will usually come out in the form of anger toward people around us who may not be the ones who actually sinned against us. B. To bitterness he adds every wrath. 1. Today's equivalent for this word is rage. 2. We hear of road rage, and the rage of a husband towards his wife. 3. This word also carries the idea of a quick temper. 4. One commentator suggests it can be translated as "exasperation." 5. We could say that this word describes the action of flying off the handle. C. We who have been transformed by the Spirit of God must put off every anger. 1. That is a spirit of being opposed in a hostile way to things that God desires for our lives. 2. Sinful anger is always against God. 3. There is a righteous anger that is perfectly proper and in accord with the highest reaches of holiness. 4. But that is not what Paul has in mind here. 5. Anger will always call for retribution or revenge. D. We must put off clamoring. 1. This is the idea of brawling. 2. There are two components to this, and both need to be put off. a. One is having a contentious spirit. 1) This the person who is a contrarian. 2) This is the person with a fighting disposition, always ready to argue and dispute. b. The other is the explosive reaction to anger. "Brawling is the violent outburst of the person who has completely lost his temper and begins to yell at others." William Hendriksen E. We who have been transformed by the Spirit of God must put away all abusive speech. 1. The word translated evil speaking is the word blasphemy. 2. We are not used to using this word with a person other than God as its object. 3. Slandering is defaming someone's character or character assassination. 4. Paul already told us that our words must build up those who are around us, 29. 1. Malice is the attitude that wishes or does harm to another. 2. This includes a refusal to forgive and is allied to cynicism. "Malice is … the evil inclination of the mind, the perversity or baseness of disposition that even takes delight in inflicting hurt or injury on one's fellowmen." William Hendriksen G. It would be wonderful to say the church was free from this kind of thing, but it is not – so Paul urges us to keep on putting these things off because they are not characteristics of those who have been changed by the Holy Spirit through the person and work of Jesus Christ. III. Because We have Been Forgiven, We Put on Kindness, Compassion, and Forgiveness, 32. A. Remember that we are to do and not do these things because they are an expression of the character of God – imitators of God in 5:1. B. So, we put on kindness. 1. Kindness is the opposite of malice. 2. If malice is an evil inclination of the heart to hurt others, kindness seeks the good of others. 3. A Bible scholar defines it as "a Spirit-imparted goodness of heart." 4. Paul Tripp, in his book War of Words, defines kindness as follows: "To be kind is to be generous, tender, and warm-hearted. It means to speak and act in a way that is understanding and considerate." C. To kindness, we add compassion (tenderheartedness). 1. Compassion is not only a deep awareness of the needs of others, but also a desire to do something to relieve it. 2. Peter defines compassion as "not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing…" 1 Pt. 3:9a 3. Here Paul adds forgiveness to the definition of compassion. a. A compassionate person will not refuse forgiveness when repentance is evident. b. Not only that, a compassionate person will be ready to forgive when repentance is evident. 4. A compassionate person will freely forgive. a. There are two steps to this aspect of compassion in terms of forgiveness. 1) First, there is a judicial forgiveness. a) This is our willingness to let go of another's offence before God, which is the opposite of bitterness. b) It is our surrendering to God any right or desire for vengeance. Rom. 12:19 – Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord. c) When God says, "give place to wrath," he is essentially saying, "Stay out of my way and let me do my job." d) Forgiveness starts vertically – it is the handing the offense over to the Lord and resting in his justice. 2) The second aspect of forgiveness is relational forgiveness. a) This is the willingness to forgive anyone who comes seeking it in repentance. b) That's how the Lord forgives us. "To forgive doesn't mean that I am willing once again to barely tolerate your presence in my life. Forgiveness is active. It replaces hatred with love. It replaces malice with compassion, bitterness with joy, desires for vengeance with desires for blessing." Paul Tripp
The Holy Spirit is exhorting us to live according our identity in Jesus Christ. He is not telling us to act contrary to whom we are. He is telling us to act according to the grace of God in our lives. So, we do that. We get rid of bitterness, wrath, anger, brawling, abusive speech. We get rid of evil intents toward one another. And we put on kindness and compassion that are reflected in a forgiving heart. All because we have been forgiven because of Jesus.
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