| Introduction When talking about anger, we need to consider the person who is sinfully angry and those who suffer under his or her anger. As opposite as these situations are, what both of them need is the same thing: the grace of God in Jesus Christ. Mt. 11:28-20 – Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. The Christian is a new creature and anger no longer identifies him or her. Yet, we need to deal with the vestiges of the old man that are left in us, (20-24). Anger is one of those vestiges that if left undealt with allow Satan to have a foothold in our lives. I. A Working Definition of Anger A. Anger is easier to describe than define. B. Let's start with a working definition of anger: our anger is our whole-personed active response of negative moral judgment against perceived evil. 1. An activity, not a thing, a force, or a fluid – it is something we do, not something we have. 2. Engages the whole person – not just an emotion. 3. A response to something – it doesn't arise in a vacuum or appear spontaneously. 4. A moral judgment we make – anger = judgmentalism (what you did was wrong!) 5. Arises from our personal perception (accurate or inaccurate) of evil (as defined by us). C. Another definition of anger could be as follows: a hot displeasure of the heart or soul which is experienced in response to something you perceive to be wrong and which calls for just retribution or repayment. II. Anger Is from the Pit of Hell, 27. A. An angry person is opening himself/herself to the influence of Satan. 1. To give place is to give opportunity. 2. It can also be translated as giving a foothold. B. Sinful anger is always against God. 1. There is a righteous anger that is perfectly proper and in accord with the highest reaches of holiness. 2. But that is not what Paul has in mind here since he says that this anger may give an opportunity to the devil. III. Dealing with Anger A. The first thing that the angry person thinks and even says is that his or her anger is righteous, so let's ask ourselves is it really righteous? 1. Righteous human anger is possible. Ex. 32:19-21 – So it was, as soon as he came near the camp, that he saw the calf andthe dancing. So Moses' anger became hot, and he cast the tablets out of his hands and broke them at the foot of the mountain. Then he took the calf which they had made, burned it in the fire, and ground it to powder; and he scattered it on the water and made the children of Israel drink it. And Moses said to Aaron, "What did this people do to you that you have brought so great a sin upon them?" b. Jonathan 1 Sam. 20:33-34 – Then Saul cast a spear at him to kill him, by which Jonathan knew that it was determined by his father to kill David. So Jonathan arose from the table in fierce anger, and ate no food the second day of the month, for he was grieved for David, because his father had treated him shamefully. 2. But is safe to say that most human anger is sinful. 3. So how do we know if our anger is righteous? Three criteria a. Righteous anger reacts against actual sin. b. Righteous anger focuses on God and his kingdom, rights, and concerns, not on me and my kingdom, rights, and concerns. c. Righteous anger is accompanied by other godly qualities and expresses itself in godly ways. B. Let's get even more specific and ask ourselves when is our anger sinful. 1. Our anger is sinful when we become angry because of selfishness on our part. a. Cain's anger toward his brother was a sinfully selfish anger – Gen. 4 1) His anger was caused by his offering being rejected by God – selfishness – and his brother's being accepted – jealousy. 2) So, when we become angry because someone else is receiving attention or appreciation that we are not, our anger is sinful. b. Our anger is always sinful when it is caused by selfishness, be it jealousy or our perceived rights being denied. 2. Our anger is sinful when we allow our anger to control us. Pro. 25:28 – A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. a. Whenever we allow anger to dictate how we act to keep is from fulfilling our biblical responsibilities, our anger is sinful. b. Understand that you can control and restrain the expression of your anger. Pro. 29:11 – A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back. Pro. 16:32 – Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city. 1) Besides the verses above, we are indwelt by the Holy Spirit, thus, enabled to control our affections. Col. 2:1-3 – For I want you to know what a great conflict I have for you and those in Laodicea, and for as many as have not seen my face in the flesh, 2 that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, and attaining to all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the knowledge of the mystery of God, both of the Father and of Christ, 3 in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. 2) We all have experienced the ability to control our anger. a) A phone call in the middle of an argument. b) A knock on the door while yelling at the kids. c) The power to fire you or inflict damage to you. "The boss comes into the office and, clearly having a bad day, criticizes you for everything you have done that day. Most of the criticism is undeserved, and you spend the rest of the day contemplating how much you would like to defend yourself and prove to the boss that his assessment was wrong or even punch your boss in the nose. You don't do it, of course, because you are afraid of losing your job." Wayne Mack 3) We can and we do control our anger when the motivation is great. 4) When we fail to control our anger, it is because we don't consider the stakes to be high enough. a) We get angry and let all hell break loose when we think we can get away with and we will not be losing anything like our godly image at church, our job, etc. b) For some strange reason, the place where we most likely to think that we can get away with it is with our spouses, our children, and our siblings. i. We think somehow that attacking and assaulting family members will serve some good purpose. ii. We forget that the wrath of man never accomplishes anything good. Jam. 1:19-20 – So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. c) Yet, there are other places and times where we realize the serious consequences, usually to us and to our wellbeing, and so in those situations we control our anger. 5) In all places, and all times, we must recognize the fact that as Christians indwelt by the Holy Spirit, we do have the power to control our anger. 3. Our anger is sinful when it becomes the dominant feature of our life. a. If other people's first impression of us is that we are touchy, irritable, or easily annoyed, then we may have a problem with sinful anger. b. If we find that people seem to be constantly "tip-toeing" around us, it could be an indication that we have a chronic problem with sinful anger. Pro. 19:19 – A man of great wrath will suffer punishment; for if you rescue him, you will have to do it again. Pro. 22:24-25 – Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go, 25 Lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul. c. For some of us, controlling anger is a life-long struggle. 4. Our anger is sinful when it involves brooding or fretting. a. Brooding and fretting is a common reaction when something happens that we did not want to happen or when something does not happen that we did want to happen. b. It involves constantly dwelling on some personal slight, until what started as a small annoyance is built up into an enormous offense. 5. Our anger is sinful when we keep a running record of how we have been mistreated. 6. Our anger is sinful when we pretend that we are not angry. a. We are handling our anger sinfully whenever we justify our bitterness and resentment, or when we pretend that we are not angry. b. To control my anger, I must recognize and acknowledge its presence and not play justification and denial games. 7. Our anger is sinful when we return evil for evil or attack the person with whom we are angry. Pro. 29:11 – A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back. Pro. 29:22 – An angry man stirs up strife, and a furious man abounds in transgression. Pro. 12:16 – A fool's wrath is known at once, but a prudent man covers shame. 8. Our anger is sinful when we attack or hurt a substitute – often anger is let out on the first target of opportunity. C. Paul tells us that a primary way to deal with anger is dealing with problems on a regular, daily basis. 1. Notice that Paul quotes from the OT (Ps. 4:4), then he explains what it means. a. "Be angry and do not sin" = "do not let the sun go down on your wrath" b. So, this is not so much a command to be angry as it is an instruction on how to deal with anger. 2. Also, this is not to be interpreted as a call to pillow fights. a. You know this verse and you are laying in bad with your spouse, and you are feeling guilty about being angry, so you take one more shot at showing him/her how right you are and how wrong he/she is. b. You may not be able to solve the problem before you go to bed, but you must be able to deal with the anger. 3. There are only two ways to deal with interpersonal conflicts of any kind and in any relationship: overlooking and confronting. a. The problem is that we tend to overlook when we should confront and vice-versa. b. Younger people (biologically and in the faith) may become self-righteously confrontational. 4. Whether by overlooking or by confronting, issues and conflicts have to be dealt with daily if we want to be good and angry. Mt. 6:34 – Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. D. Let us take time to examine the reasons for your anger. 1. Whenever we start to become angry, we should immediately stop what we are doing and think about what is happening. 2. When we take time to stop and think, we are able to evaluate the reasons for our anger. a. Am I angry because some "right" of mine is being denied? b. Am I angry because I love God, his truth, and his righteousness? c. Am I concerned about the kingdom of God and about advancing the cause of Jesus Christ in this situation? 3. Scriptures say that many times our angry responses are relate to pride and selfishness, which is not a good reason to be angry. Jam. 4:1-3 – Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? 2 You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures. 4. The bottom-line reason for much of our sinful anger is that we have an agenda and someone is standing in the way of our fulfilling that agenda. 5. If we stop and take the time to think about the reason for our anger, the Spirit of God will give us the grace to at in a godly manner. E. Let us learn to harness the energy created by your anger 1. It is medically proven and documented that when people become angry, physiological changes take place in their bodies. a. Anger stimulates the adrenal gland, which then releases adrenaline into the bloodstream. b. Adrenaline stimulates other glands in the body, which also release hormones into the bloodstream. c. One of these glands is the pancreas, which releases insulin in the bloodstream. d. Insulin helps the body to turn glucose into chemical energy, more precisely ATP (adenosine triphosphate), which is the basic currency for the body to work. e. In other words, anger stimulates the body to prepare to use energy – to do something – and we can use that for teeth destructive or constructive purposes. 2. If we constantly suppress our anger and energy it builds up, we will eventually destroy ourselves (also medically proven). Pro. 14:30 – A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Pro. 15:13 – A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. Pro. 17:22 – A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones. 3. On the other hand, blowing our top, engaging in the practice that psychologists call ventilating is not the answer. Tears for Fears' Shout – "Shout, shout, let it all out/These are the things I can do without/Come on/I'm talking to you, come on/Shout, shout, let it all out/These are the things I can do without/Come on/I'm talking to you, come on" a. God warns against this practice, 4:31. b. It will destroy other people and our relationships with them. 4. So, what do we do to harness this energy? IV. The Whirlwind of Dealing with Angry People in Your Lives A. You are most likely worn out, confused and looking for answers to questions like: 1. How can I restore sanity to this chaos? 2. How can I prevent these anger storms? 3. Why does this rage seem to explode out of nowhere? 4. Will there ever be real peace in our home, or are bickering, quarreling, and fighting going to be the norm? B. The Bible's emphasis on the inward origin of anger tells us that helping angry people involves more than mere anger management techniques. C. Knowing that anger comes from the heart should fill you with hope. 1. Your loved one is not emotionally damaged and incapable of change. 2. Jesus lived, died, and rose again so that all kinds of people – including people with very angry hearts - could be changed into people who love God and others. Ps. 51:10-11 – Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. E. Look at your own life and see how you may have been an unnecessary trigger to anger – eye surgery of the beam and speck kind. I am not going to sugarcoat it for you. Dealing with anger is hard. It is hard for the angry person and it is extremely hard for those who live with the angry person. Anger can be one of those besetting sins that are always ready, in moment's notice, to rear its ugly head. But anger is sin and that is the exciting part. Our God is an expert in dealing with sin. And he has the power to overcome it! Eph. 3:20-21 – Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
"…according to the power that works in us…." Works in us now!
http://olympiabp.blogspot.com/2019/11/dont-give-place-to-satan-eph-426-27.html
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