| Introduction Anger is a descent into hell. It is a descent into hell for those who live around the angry person. Explosions and World War 3 happen everyday for you. The angry person leaves a path of destruction in your life. And you feel like at times that hell might be more pleasant than living around this person. Anger is also a descent into hell for the angry person. He often feels trapped in his habitual pattern of responding in anger. Often angry people have been angry for so long that they don't know how not to relate in anger. It is a hellish existence. Angry people often crave for heaven with a craving that it is at times painful because they want to be free from anger. As opposite as these situations are, the solution for both of them is the same: the grace of God in Jesus Christ. Mt. 11:28-20 – Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. The Christian is a new creature and anger no longer identifies him or her. Yet, we need to deal with the vestiges of the old man that are left in us, (20-24). Anger is one of those vestiges that if left undealt with allow Satan to have a foothold in our lives. I. A Working Definition of Anger A. Anger is easier to describe than define. B. Let's start with a working definition of anger: our anger is our whole-personed active response of negative moral judgment against perceived evil. 1. An activity, not a thing, a force, or a fluid – it is something we do, not something we have. 2. Engages the whole person – not just an emotion. 3. A response to something – it doesn't arise in a vacuum or appear spontaneously. 4. A moral judgment we make. Anger = judgmentalism (what you did was wrong!) 5. Arises from our personal perception (accurate or inaccurate) of evil (as defined by us). C. Another definition of anger could be: a hot displeasure of the heart or soul which is experienced in response to something you perceive to be wrong and which calls for just retribution or repayment. II. Dealing with Anger A. Deal with problems on a regular, daily basis. 1. Notice that Paul quotes from the OT (Ps. 4:4), then he explains what it means. a. "Be angry and do not sin" = "do not let the sun go down on your wrath" b. So, this is not so much a command to be angry as it is an instruction on how to deal with anger. 2. Also, this is not to be interpreted as a call to pillow fights. a. You know this verse and you are laying in bad with your spouse, and you are feeling guilty about being angry, so you take one more shot at showing him/her how right you are and how wrong he/she is. b. You may not be able to solve the problem before you go to bed, but you must be able to deal with the anger. "A man actually said that he was going to leave his wife because 'she didn't close the dresser drawers.' He complained that he would come into his bedroom, step around a corner, and get a stomach full of open drawers. The truth, of course, was that this man had more than a stomach full of drawers; he had a stomach full of his wife as well. He was upset about the drawers plus a thousand other things as well. The drawers had simply become the focal point of his growing anger." Wayne Mack a. True of other relationships. b. People wanting to leave a church c. Kids wanting to leave home d. The thing is the problems will follow you wherever you go if they are not dealt with. 4. There are only two ways to deal with interpersonal conflicts of any kind and in any relationship: overlooking and confronting. a. The problem is that we tend to overlook when we should confront and vice-versa. b. Younger people (biologically and in the faith) may become self-righteously confrontational. 1 Pt. 4:8 – And above all things have fervent love for one another, for "love will cover a multitude of sins." Pro. 10:12 – Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins. Pro. 19:11 – The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression. a) a person is doing something that does not greatly hinder his ministry or someone else's ministry for Jesus Christ. b) a person is doing something that does not hurt someone else or him/herself. c) the action is not a pattern in that person's life. d) it is not a sin issue, just preference. "It's generally better to reserve confrontation for spiritual issues that are clearly sin issues, issues that will bring reproach to Christ and serious damage to other people." Wayne Mack a) We all have experienced being around somebody who is always criticizing us. b) There is no deep fellowship if the relationship is built on criticism instead of mutual love and respect. c) If the stand mode of operation is not confronting somebody about everything, then when there is a confrontation, it will mean much more. 4) Dangers of this teaching. a) People can hide behind this idea and never confront anybody. b) The person being confronted may try to use this teaching to make the person confronting feel guilty about it: "all you do is criticize me!" c) The person overlooking may grow bitter because they are not truly covering the offense; he/she is just storing it. d) So, we need to pray for wisdom and God will give it liberally! James 1:5 5) When in doubt, confront. 1) When we experience or recognize a serious problem with a person, we are to go privately to that person for the purpose of solving the problem, Matt. 18:15. a) Not to exhibit self-righteousness b) Not to prove the other person wrong c) Not to win the argument d) Not to show your Bible knowledge 2) The best way to confront somebody is to plan to so instead of shooting from the hips. 5. Whether by overlooking or by confronting, issues and conflicts have to be dealt with daily if we want to be good and angry. Mt. 6:34 – Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. B. Understand that you can control and restrain the expression of your anger. Pro. 29:11 – A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back. Pro. 16:32 – Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city. 1. Besides the verses above, we are indwelt by the Holy Spirit, thus, enabled to control our affections. Col. 2:1-3 – For I want you to know what a great conflict I have for you and those in Laodicea, and for as many as have not seen my face in the flesh, 2 that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, and attaining to all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the knowledge of the mystery of God, both of the Father and of Christ, 3 in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. 2. We all have experienced the ability to control our anger. a. A phone call in the middle of an argument. b. A knock on the door while yelling at the kids. c. The power to fire you or inflict damage to you. "The boss comes into the office and, clearly having a bad day, criticizes you for everything you have done that day. Most of the criticism is undeserved, and you spend the rest of the day contemplating how much you would like to defend yourself and prove to the boss that his assessment was wrong or even punch your boss in the nose. You don't do it, of course, because you are afraid of losing your job." Wayne Mack 3. We can and we do control our anger when the motivation is great. 4. When we fail to control our anger, it is because we don't consider the stakes to be high enough. a. We get angry and let all hell break loose when we think we can get away with and we will not be losing anything like our godly image at church, our job, etc. b. For some strange reason, the place where we most likely to think that we can get away with it is with our spouses, our children, and our siblings. 1) We think somehow that attacking and assaulting family members will serve some good purpose. 2) We forget that the wrath of man never accomplishes anything good. Jam. 1:19-20 – So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. c. Yet, there are other places and times where we realize the serious consequences, usually to us and to our wellbeing, and so in those situations we control our anger. 5. In all places, and all times, we must recognize the fact that as Christians indwelt by the Holy Spirit, we do have the power to control our anger. C. Take time to examine the reasons for your anger. 1. Whenever we start to become angry, we should immediately stop what we are doing and think about what is happening. 2. When we take time to stop and think, we are able to evaluate the reasons for our anger. a. Am I angry because some "right" of mine is being denied? b. Am I angry because I love God, his truth, and his righteousness? c. Am I concerned about the kingdom of God and about advancing the cause of Jesus Christ in this situation? 3. Scriptures say that many times our angry responses are relate to pride and selfishness, which is not a good reason to be angry. Jam. 4:1-3 – Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? 2 You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures. 4. The bottom-line reason for much of our sinful anger is that we have an agenda and someone is standing in the way of our fulfilling that agenda. 5. If we stop and take the time to think about the reason for our anger, the Spirit of God will give us the grace to at in a godly manner. D. Learn to harness the energy created by your anger 1. It is medically proven and documented that when people become angry, physiological changes take place in their bodies. a. Anger stimulates the adrenal gland, which then releases adrenaline into the bloodstream. b. Adrenaline stimulates other glands in the body, which also release hormones into the bloodstream. c. One of these glands is the pancreas, which releases insulin in the bloodstream. d. Insulin helps the body to turn glucose into chemical energy, more precisely ATP (adenosine triphosphate), which is the basic currency for the body to work. e. In other words, anger stimulates the body to prepare to use energy – to do something – and we can use that for teeth destructive or constructive purposes. 2. If we constantly suppress our anger and energy it builds up, we will eventually destroy ourselves (also medically proven). Pro. 14:30 – A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Pro. 15:13 – A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. Pro. 17:22 – A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones. 3. On the other hand, blowing our top, engaging in the practice that psychologists call ventilating is not the answer. Tears for Fears' Shout – "Shout, shout, let it all out/These are the things I can do without/Come on/I'm talking to you, come on/Shout, shout, let it all out/These are the things I can do without/Come on/I'm talking to you, come on" a. God warns against this practice, 4:31. b. It will destroy other people and our relationships with them. 4. So, what do we do to harness this energy? III. Six Questions That Can Make the Difference E. What is happening? Assess the situation F. Am I interpreting what is happening or not happening through a biblical grid or am I leaning on my own understanding? G. What do I want that I am not getting or what am I getting that I don't want? H. Right now, what am I being tempted to do? I. How do my thoughts and intentions and potential response to the circumstances I am confronting line up with Scripture? J. At this time, will I choose to obey God or self? IV. The Whirlwind of Dealing with Angry People in Your Lives A. You are most likely worn out, confused and looking for answers to questions like: 1. How can I restore sanity to this chaos? 2. How can I prevent these anger storms? 3. Why does this rage seem to explode out of nowhere? 4. Will there ever be real peace in our home, or are bickering, quarreling, and fighting going to be the norm? B. The Bible's emphasis on the inward origin of anger tells us that helping angry people involves more than mere anger management techniques. C. Knowing that anger comes from the heart should fill you with hope. 1. Your loved one is not emotionally damaged and incapable of change. 2. Jesus lived, died, and rose again so that all kinds of people – including people with very angry hearts - could be changed into people who love God and others. Ps. 51:10-11 – Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. E. Look at your own life and see how you may have been an unnecessary trigger to anger – eye surgery of the beam and speck kind. I am not going to sugarcoat it for you. Dealing with anger is hard. It is hard for the angry person and it is extremely hard for those who live with the angry person. Anger can be one of those besetting sins that are always ready, in moment's notice, to rear its ugly head. But anger is sin and that is the exciting part. Our God is an expert in dealing with sin. And he has the power to overcome it! Eph. 3:20-21 – Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
"…according to the power that works in us…." Works in us now!
http://olympiabp.blogspot.com/2019/10/dont-give-place-to-satan-eph-426-27.html
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