| Introduction In a traditional Presbyterian ceremony, the minister starts by saying, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the presence of God and these witnesses to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony." Holy matrimony! Set apart marriage! Sanctified marriage! These are all ways to say the same thing. God appointed marriage as holy institution and his holy people enjoy that holy institution by marrying other holy people. The third problem that Nehemiah faced when he returned from his visit to the Persian court was that some of the people had failed to preserve the sanctity of marriage, which was one of the things they had vowed to do, 10:29-30. The other two were failure to provide for the public worship of God and the profane of the Sabbath. I. The Problem Defined, 23-24. A. Marrying outside God's covenant community was a common struggle for the post-exilic people of God. 1. Ezra had to deal with it a couple of decades earlier. Ezra 10:1-4– Now while Ezra was praying, and while he was confessing, weeping, and bowing down before the house of God, a very large assembly of men, women, and children gathered to him from Israel; for the people wept very bitterly. And Shechaniah the son of Jehiel, oneof the sons of Elam, spoke up and said to Ezra, "We have trespassed against our God, and have taken pagan wives from the peoples of the land; yet now there is hope in Israel in spite of this. Now therefore, let us make a covenant with our God to put away all these wives and those who have been born to them, according to the advice of my master and of those who tremble at the commandment of our God; and let it be done according to the law. Arise, for thismatter isyour responsibility. We also arewith you. Be of good courage, and do it." 2. Nehemiah has to deal with it twice in his tenure as governor. 3. Malachi, who was a relative contemporary of Ezra and Nehemiah, had to deal with it as well. Mal. 2:11– Judah has dealt treacherously, and an abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem, for Judah has profaned the Lord's holy institutionwhich He loves: he has married the daughter of a foreign god. a. In Malachi's context, the Israelites were divorcing their wives in order to marry richer foreign women. Mal. 2:14-15– Yet you say, "For what reason?" Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did He not make themone, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. b. Dealing treacherously in marriage is dealing treacherously with God himself. B. This problem seems to be somewhat localized compared to what Ezra had to deal with. 1. I say that because of the emphasis on Ashdod, which borders Judea on the west. 2. The specific problem is that some of God's people defiled the sanctity of marriage by marrying people outside of God's covenant community. 3. If we translate that to today's language, we would say that they defiled the sanctity of marriage by marrying people who were not part of the church of Jesus Christ. 4. Both men and women were doing that. C. The solution: commit from this point forward to stop defiling the sanctity of marriage by marrying people from outside God's covenant community, 25. 1. The result of these marriages was the worship of false gods. 2. We see that in two ways in our passage. a. One is the comparison of their situation with Solomon's situation, 26. 1) Solomon was close to God. 3) And yet marrying women from outside the church drew him away from God. 1 Kg. 11:1-4– But King Solomon loved many foreign women, as well as the daughter of Pharaoh: women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians, andHittites—from the nations of whom the Lord had said to the children of Israel, "You shall not intermarry with them, nor they with you. Surely they will turn away your hearts after their gods." Solomon clung to these in love. And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines; and his wives turned away his heart. For it was so, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God, as wasthe heart of his father David. b. The other is the producing children that are not worshippers of the true God, 24. 1) They didn't speak the language of Israel. 2) Therefore, they couldn't hear the Word of God or participate in the worship of God. D.Nehemiah dealt violently with the issue, 25. 1. His behavior here is not prescriptive. 2. Ezra dealt with the same issue in a very different way with good results. Ezra 9:3– So when I heard this thing, I tore my garment and my robe, and plucked out some of the hair of my head and beard, and sat down astonished. {TRANSITION: Why is this such a big deal? Nehemiah had all kinds of other problems to worry about. Why spend so much time and effort dealing with this issue? Why not just be ok with people marrying whoever they want? Why spend time trying to restore marriages? Why not just have people end marriages if things are not going well? Why get married at all? The answer to all these questions have to do with the nature marriage.} II. The Nature of Marriage A. Do you realize that God instituted marriage (and thus the family) before he instituted the civil government (Gen. 9) and the Visible Church (Gen. 15)? B. In marriage, a man and a woman become one. Gen. 2:23-25– And Adam said: "This isnow bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. 1. This oneness goes beyond the sexual union. 2. It is spiritual, emotional, psychological, social, and financial oneness to the point that if you separate the man and the woman, you no longer two wholes. 3. For a believer, he/she is also one with Christ. a. To unite Christ with unbelief is a great sin. 1 Cor. 6:15-17– Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make themmembers of a harlot? Certainly not! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one bodywith her?For "the two,"He says, "shall become one flesh." But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. b. That's why the apostle says that a believer should only marry in the Lord, that is, in union with the Lord, which is only possible if he/she is marrying a believer. 1 Cor. 7:39– A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. c. Though not just about marriage, 2 Cor. 6:14-18 speaks of close associations between believers and unbelievers – there is no closer association than the husband/wife association. 2 Cor. 6:15-18– And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will dwell in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they shall be My people." Therefore "Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you." "Iwill be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty." d. Paul does say that if that is the state you already find yourself in, then remain it. 1 Cor. 7:12-16– But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save yourhusband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save yourwife? C. So, there is this oneness with Christ that makes the oneness of marriage utterly important. D.But there is something even more important about the nature of marriage. 1. Marriage is for the good of the married. a. It provides companionship. b. It provides godly children. c. It provides sexual pleasure. d. It provides mutual help. e. And it provides an opportunity to glorify God. 2. But above all else, marriage in its nature was created to display the glorious relationship between Christ and his beautiful bride the Church. E. When Paul uses Christ's relationship to the Church to illustrate the husband/wife relationship, he is not doing that by accident. 1. Marriage, especially marriage between believers, is a constant declaration of the relationship between Christ and his Church. 2. To marry an unbeliever is to say that Christ and wickedness mix. 1Jn. 1:5-8– This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. F. In order to understand the wickedness of what the Israelites were doing, we need to understand the glory of marriage, Eph. 5:22-33. 1. The glory of submission is the glory of Christ and the church, 22-24. 1 Pt. 3:1-6– Wives, likewise, besubmissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompaniedby fear. Do not let your adornment be merelyoutward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fineapparel—rather let it bethe hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beautyof a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. a. Do you notice how submission is beautiful? b. Notice also how winsome it is. 2. The glory of love is the glory of Christ's cross and resurrection, 25-29. a. Christ loves by giving of himself to the church so that she may be sanctified and washed, 25-26. 1) The glory of Christian marriage is that the husband is an instrument in God's hand in making his wife much more life Christ. 2) That happens as the husband selflessly gives of himself. a) This includes humility. b) This includes self-control. c) This includes a peaceful attitude. b. Christ loves by presenting the church perfect, 27. 1) The glory of Christian marriage is that the husband presents his wife gloriously beautiful back to the Father. 2) The Christian wife is made exponentially more beautiful because of the love her husband showers upon her. c. Christ loves by nourishing and cherishing, 28-29. 1) The glory of the Christian marriage is that the husband nourishes his wife, 29 – to nourish is to cultivate, to feed, to bring up to maturity. 2) The glory of the Christian marriage is that the husband cherishes his wife, 29 – to cherish is to take care, to treat as high value. 3. This glorious submission and this beautiful love are part and parcel of a Christian marriage and of a Christian husband and a Christian wife, 30. a. A wife who is not gloriously submissive is not acting as a Christian at all. b. A husband who is not beautifully loving his wife with the love of Christ is not acting like a Christian at all. c. As a matter of fact, they are both lying about Christ. 1) A husband that belittles, badgers, abuses, fails to provide, disrespects, abandons, cheats on his wife is not loving his wife no matter what he says. a) He is also saying that Christ would treat the church in that way. b) What a horror to say these things about Christ! 2) A wife that belittles, badgers, abuses, fails to provide, disrespects, abandons, cheats on her husband is not submissive to her husband no matter what she says. a) She is also saying that the Church in heaven in doing that to Christ. b) Can you even imagine that happening? 4. This is the essence of the Christian marriage, 31-33.
Isn't this vision of marriage glorious? And it is for the every Christian. If that's not your marriage, simply repent. Love your wife without any qualifications. Don't try to define love as something else. Submit to your husband as you do to the Lord. Let's proclaim Christ truthfully in our marriages.
http://olympiabp.blogspot.com/2018/11/holy-matrimony-nehemiah-1323-31.html
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