| Introduction Earlier in the book Paul said, "[God] has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins" (1:13-14). Now we are not in darkness anymore. We live in the light because our King is the light of the Word. The identifying element of this kingdom is obedience. When I was the principal at Heritage Christian School, the person who used to pick the songs for chapel seemed to invariably pick the obedience song, "O-B-E-D-I-E-N-C-E. Obedience is the very best way to show that you believe." This is as true as it is simple. So parents show they believe by raising their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and children show they believe by obeying their parents in all things. I. Children, God Wants You to Obey and Honor Parents. A. You need your parents. 1. God's design is that you grow up and mature under your parents' care. 2. Because you are sinful, you need restraint. Pro. 22:15 – Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him. Pro. 29:15 – The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. 3. God put you in your particular family – Romans 8:28. 4. God wants your parents to be the primary influence in your life Pro. 1:8-9 – My son, hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother; for they will be a graceful ornament on your head, and chains about your neck. 1. God has given them the right to tell you what to do. 2. He commands you to obey them, which means he commands them to order. 3. Do what they tell you do immediately and cheerfully, without complaining or challenging their authority. Phil. 2:14 – Do all things without complaining and disputing…. Col. 3:23 – And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men. 4. Seek to please them IN EVERTYHING, Col. 3:20. 1. Your parents are not your peers. 2. Honor begins in your heart. 3. You are to honor BOTH your mother and your father. 4. Speak to them AND about them respectfully. Lev. 20:9 – For everyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death. He has cursed his father or his mother. His blood shall be upon him. Pro. 30:17 – The eye that mocks his father, and scorns obedience to his mother, the ravens of the valley will pick it out, and the young eagles will eat it. D. Pay close attention to your parents' teaching. Pro. 6:20-23 – My son, keep your father's command, And do not forsake the law of your mother. Bind them continually upon your heart; Tie them around your neck. When you roam, they will lead you; when you sleep, they will keep you; and when you awake, they will speak with you. For the commandment is a lamp, and the law a light; reproofs of instruction are the way of life…. E. Receive their discipline and admonishment. Heb. 12:7-11 – If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. F. Be thankful for them and for all they do for you. Pro. 31:28 – Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her…. G. There are limitations to your obedience. 1. One day you will grow up and no longer be a child under your parents' authority, Genesis 2:24. 2. Your parents do not have the right to tell you to sin against God. Mt. 10:34-39 – Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to 'set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law'; and 'a man's enemies will be those of his own household.' He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it. H. God gives you good reasons for honoring your parents. 1. Honor them because it is right. Eph. 6:1 – Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2. Honor them for the Lord's sake. Col. 3:20 – Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. 3. Your parents are not perfect, but your honoring them does not depend on who they are, but who Christ is – the example of Jesus, the perfect one with imperfect parents. Lk. 2:51 – Then He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them, but His mother kept all these things in her heart. 4. If you honor your parents, you will be richly blessed. Eph. 6:2-3 – "Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with promise: "that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth." 5. If you do not honor your parents, you will be cursed. Dt. 21:18-21 – If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and who, when they have chastened him, will not heed them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city, to the gate of his city. And they shall say to the elders of his city, "This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.' Then all the men of his city shall stone him to death with stones; so you shall put away the evil from among you, and all Israel shall hear and fear. Pro. 20:20 – If a man curses his father or mother, his lamp will be snuffed out in pitch darkness. I. What does God expect of grown children? 1. One goal of parenting is to make children ready to leave the home. 2. Unlike marriage, the parent-child relationship changes. 3. Ordinarily this will take place when the child gets married, Gen. 2:24. 4. The relationship between unmarried adult children and their parents is different from that of younger children. 1 Cor. 13:11 – When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 5. When is a child ready to leave home? 1 Cor. 13:11 – When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. a. When he/she is mature enough to make wise choices on his/her own. b. When he/she is able to take on the responsibilities of adult life. c. When/she is ready to live for others. 6. Some children leave too soon while others are not leaving at all. a. There are benefits to young, single adult living with his or her parents, but there are also risks. b. Adult children still living under their parents' roof must respect their rules. c. Perhaps grown children who do not honor their parents should be forced to leave. d. Even after leaving home, you are still to honor your parents. e. Seek your parents' counsel. 1) You are not bound to do what they say. 2) But it would be foolish not to draw from their wisdom. f. Build your relationship/friendship with them – all the injunctions to mutual love apply to your relationship with your parents as well. g. You are responsible to take care of your parents in their old age. Mt. 15:3-9 – He answered and said to them, "Why do you also transgress the commandment of God because of your tradition? For God commanded, saying, 'Honor your father and your mother'; and, 'He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.' But you say, 'Whoever says to his father or mother, "Whatever profit you might have received from me is a gift to God" – 'then he need not honor his father or mother.' Thus you have made the commandment of God of no effect by your tradition. "Hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy about you, saying: 'These people draw near to Me with their mouth, And honor Me with their lips, But their heart is far from Me. And in vain they worship Me, Teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.'" II. The Place of Obedience in General A. Not only parents and children are called to obedience, but all of us in whatever capacity are called to obedience. "My heart I offer to you, O Lord, promptly and sincerely." John Calvin B. Disobedience is nothing short of rebellion. C. Disobedience is autonomy – becoming a law unto ourselves. D. Disobedience is insubordination to the King (stubbornness). E. At the end of the day, disobedience is idolatry – the enthronement of another king over your heart. F. At this point you may be thinking, "What hope do I have, then? I sin all the time. I don't try to sin all the time. As a matter of fact, I try really hard not to sin. Yet, I disobey God. What hope do I have?" 1. When we think of God's view of disobedience and the fact that we are constantly disobeying him, we need to think of our relationship with him in terms of two realities – God as our Judge and God as our Father. 2. God as the Judge of all who believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. a. When your heart was changed (regeneration), you believed in the Lord Jesus Christ. b. At that very point, God declared that you were united to Christ. 1) Being united to Christ, or as the Bible speaks of it more often, being in Christ means that God the Father as your judge declares that the obedience with which Christ obeyed him is your obedience. 2) The Father as your Judge also declares that the guilt of your sin, ALL OF IT, was dealt with at the cross of Jesus. c. This means that the Father considers you through Christ to be judicially perfect, that is, as having never sinned. 1) The eternal consequences of sin are removed. 2) We are literally not guilty anymore in a judicial sense. Rom. 8:1 – There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus…. 3) Because of this heavenly transaction, there is nothing that we ever separate us from God. Rom. 8:38-39 – For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. d. Some people get really scared of this teaching because they think it will lead people live careless lives, not caring to obey the law of God, and it might. e. But this transaction that happens in courts of heaven has a deep, life-change effect on us. 1) When the Spirit of God changes our hearts and we are subsequently declared perfectly righteous in the sight of God through faith in Jesus Christ, he also kills us and revives us. a) He kills the heart of unbound sin that dominated our lives. b) He revives us unto righteousness. c) These two things happening, the inevitable result is obedience. Eph. 2:1-10 – And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others. But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. 2) So, Paul speaks of the impossibility of having been changed by the Spirit of God and continuing to rejoice in sin. Rom. 6:1-4 – What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. f. Your level of frustration and discouragement may be rising even as we consider these life-altering doctrines because you still see sin in your life. g. If that's you, you are in good company. Rom. 7:22-25 – For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! 3. This frustration may be alleviated when we consider God as the Father of all who believe in Jesus Christ. a. Our union with Christ, our in-christness, makes so that his Father is also our Father. Gal. 4:6-7 – And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, "Abba, Father!" Therefore you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ. b. God as our Father does not demand perfect obedience from us because he already received it from his unique Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. c. He does demand GROWING obedience from us. Phil 2:12-13 – Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure. Rom. 13:14 – But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts. 1) The theological term for this process is progressive sanctification. 2) In this process, we die more and more unto the vestiges of our sinful nature, and live more and more unto righteousness. 3) To use a biblical phrase, it is the process through which we are being conformed in this life to what we have been declared to be in Christ – becoming like Christ. 2 Cor. 3:18 – But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord. d. This conforming to Jesus, this progressive transformation, is rooted and takes place as we live a life of repentance. 1) A child of God will not refuse to repent of sin when shown from the Scriptures that he/she is sinning. 2) As we live a life of repentance, then we are little by little transformed to become like the Lord Jesus Christ. a) As we repent of specific sins, we grow as Christ-like husbands and wives, as children, as brothers and sisters. b) As we repent of specific sins, the barriers that those sins created between our heavenly Father and ourselves are removed and we are able to climb up, as it were, onto our Father's lap and enjoy him and his company/presence. c) As we repent of specific sins, we die a little more to that sin and become a little more like our Savior.
The surest path to a life that is marked by obedience to the Word of God is not a life marked by the fear that God is just waiting to punish us when we have indeed placed our faith in Jesus Christ. The surest path to obedience, true obedience, is the firm knowledge that God is not out to get us. In Jesus Christ, the Father/Judge has declared us innocent. In Jesus Christ the Father has said he loves us. And now he sends us out to obey him out of faith and love. That's the reality of obedience.
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